This first student revision is actually plagiarized since on its text, the names of the author, the year of its publication and also the page number weren't cited. Based from what I actually learned from my high school days, it is indeed very important to site these three things when you are doing some in-text citations. A good way to correct this is to actually incorporate the author, year and page. It is also necessary, I guess, to paraphrase the text since some or maybe most of the text was directly copied from the two different sources.
Student Revision 2
This one is kinda better than the other one but still it is plagiarized. It actually sited the author's surname but not the year and page number, but I guess this is a little bit better than the previous one. We can correct it by actually using the same way as of the one I suggested on Student Revision 1 which is to actually incorporate the year and page. It is also necessary, I guess, to site where the statement of the author ended because it seems that the whole text was just said by an author and there is actually no personal input made by the student who revisioned the text.
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